What an appropriate topic for today! Happy Valentine’s Day you beautiful lot (totally threw up a little there, I do not believe in this made up day but trying to be positive n all that jazz… the picture below is an accurate reflection of my face writing that ?)
Ever heard anything that has made you stop completely and just change your outlook on things? It’s been mentioned before but I absolutely love Red Table Talk on Facebook. There was an episode where someone on it said everyone thinks love is red. Passion, fire! But love is blue. Love is peace. And that absolutely hit in all the feels.
I only have 1 experience of being in truly, madly, deeply love. And I’m so lucky to say that he’s now my husband (it’d be bloody awkward if I didn’t say him!!). The same as many people, I’m sure I’ve thought love was what I felt for a couple of people, and one of them I think was real for who we were then and how deeply we could feel at that moment in our lives, but we were young & I certainly didn’t have the capacity to give my whole self to someone.
So when I met Darren and it felt so natural, so quickly… I fucking panicked. The internal fight in my head of ‘do not let your wall down’ because it’ll hurt so much more when it goes tits up vs ‘be yourself completely’ because what if it blossoms into something more beautiful? Was ever present and I’m so glad to say I made the right decision. Honestly, there were moments I was scared and anxious, because I thought why doesn’t he get jealous? Why doesn’t he shout back at me when I’m being an absolutely unreasonable knob head?! Because growing up, it’s what we’re told isn’t it? When you fight, the making up is great. People are jealous because they care. You see it in the films or in music. Darren never did any of this, and I remember I used to say some things about ‘exes’ (broad term… ?) and he would ask a sincere question back. Not look pissed off, or remotely jealous. Does he even like me?! He would even offer snippets of his life pre-Beth back. The more we spoke and I saw things from his perspective and learnt more of his life. I realised he was just very comfortable with himself and secure. The way he looks at things are so fair and straight forward it baffles me sometimes! But, it’s so beautiful! And I swear, there is no more attractive quality in a person than being secure in themselves and being a genuinely nice human. And that is him in a (ginger)nutshell.
I feel that went a bit off course there, so I’ll try again. Love is peace, love is respect, love is the calm that can sail the worst storms, love is pure. Love is blue.
Happy Day of Love. I hope everyday is Valentine’s Day for you.
Here is me and my Valentine on the honeymoon of a lifetime. It’s about time for his picture to feature on the blog!
*Please note – I only choose blue to represent my love, not my football team ?