How’s everyone doing?This is the weirdest time of our life and I hope it’ll be the worst thing we experience and there isn’t more to come from this mad world. I hope you’re all coping well and finding ways to stay sane and upbeat.
I thought I’d been doing ok because I don’t constantly feel like crap, but just because it’s not as severe as my really bad days doesn’t equal coping! I’m not speaking to my friends, not making an effort with Darren or even taking care of myself. I’m doing my work day, going down stairs when finished and watching some mind numbing tv for a couple of hours before going to bed. Basically, just existing.
So I decided to have a little me time this morning. Taking an extra 10 minutes in the shower to sing my heart out, taking the time to dry and straighten my hair. Do my favourite thing & play with some make-up & finally wear some of my maternity clothes that I bought. I even guilted Darren into take some cute pics.
Everyone keeps saying how different life is going to be when baby gets here – I don’t doubt it! But this was meant to be the time I could just be me and do normal things; spend uninterrupted time with my friends. Go take my laptop to a coffee shop and work some more on my writing. Go on dates with Darren which we have never done often enough. And now time is just dwindling away with those options becoming less likely.
I truly appreciate that people are going through a horrific time right now, working on the frontline or losing loved ones and not being able to be there with them and this seems so trivial to complain about! But I’m also a firm believer that everyone is allowed to feel as they do, and constantly comparing situations isn’t healthy for anyone; it will breed anger, bitterness, self-hate and generally be detrimental for all. So if you’re feeling a little low right now and feel selfish about it because ‘it’s not as bad as others have it’ – allow it!!! The worse you feel about feeling bad, the longer it will continue because it’s a vicious cycle. Now probably isn’t the best time to beat yourself up. It’s hard because for so many of us, our coping strategies are out there. Whether you refocus by going for a swim, socialising, having some form of physical contact etc – they are no longer options so let’s just be kind to everyone but most importantly, ourselves!
Please look after yourself and most importantly – don’t just exist. There is a way to properly live through this bizarre time, it’s just about navigating through the madness and discovering exactly how we can do that. I’m going to start by cooking some lovely food and setting the table up like we’re in a restaurant for a faux date night because it’s better than nothing! Keep safe everyone & to all of the people who are going out everyday to work on the frontline (in whatever field), thank you! X