Hello, to you 2 people who are left!!

This is like the virtual walk of shame… it’s been a while.

I’ve been told not to apologise at the start of every post for not posting so long but this has taken the biscuit so the apology is implied.

I’d like to say that this time out has been productivity spent, however that would be a lie – I’ve totally indulged myself, wallowed and been just a general turd (genuine diagnosis – think I should change GP!)

The past 6 months have brought some real shocking and sobering moments and it’s really made me think about how much people are going through and suffering in silence. Mental health can feel very isolating and lonely. It can also make you feel like no one else is going through this – it’s a selfish little bint. But it’s actually a very naive view and it shouldn’t take what’s happened to people I know to realise that.

I was very much in the space of – I hate myself! Not in the sense like, oh hate my body, how I look etc. Like down to the core and the person I have become. That gets you in to a pretty dark place very quickly and I’ve looked up and suddenly we’re in the 5th month of the year and nothing has changed. It’s almost as if nothing is going to change unless I make the change… ? so whilst I’m still not my number 1 fan, I’m going to make those steps to get to know myself and show me some love. I’ve managed to marry one of the kindest men out there, so there must be some redeemable qualities about me.

Pretty sure this is said in every blog post, but excuse the incoherent rambling. This is just a touching base post – I had to post or I feel it’ll never happen. So if you are reading, please know that if you are having relationship issues with yourself, you are loved. You are worthy, and even if you are struggling to love yourself there are a sea of people around you who adore you and you add something to their lives. Even if they don’t tell you, they do!!

Right, I’m off to go and take my own advice.

Thanks for bearing with me and thanks to the amazing people who always message after a post and know I will be your biggest cheerleader in life, for life now!!

Beth x

P.S. thanks Kaz for letting me borrow your cup for picture purposes only, it’s only taken me 4 months to use this pic ?

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